Yinka is doing pretty well for herself. She’s educated, has a loving circle of friends, and has a great job at an investment bank. But that’s not good enough for her Nigerian mother and aunties who desperately want Yinka to find a huzband. After dodging her family’s matchmaking attempts, Yinka takes matters into her own hands with Operation Find-A-Date for her cousin Rachel’s wedding. A couple of disastrous dates later, Yinka is lost and wondering if she’ll always be single. With the help of her friends, Yinka begins a journey of self-love and acceptance that finds her in therapy, forces her to face her fears, and pushes her to confront her family.
Being Yinka
Yinka’s story is such a beautiful return to oneself. When I first started reading, I assumed Yinka would suffer through a string of bad dates and eventually find her huzband. And there were bad dates. There was Alex, who only saw her as a friend, and Marcus, who wasn’t interested in waiting to have sex. The pain of Yinka’s disappointment is palpable. I felt like I was sitting in her skin as she turned on herself. Instead of acknowledging that she wasn’t over her ex-boyfriend and that her potential suitors were not good matches, she questioned her worth. Something was wrong with her. She wasn’t good enough. Her 4C hair needed to be hidden under a long straight weave. Her skin was too dark, and her butt wasn’t the right shape.
In a world where affirmation for Black women, especially dark-skinned Black women, is scarce, I understand how easy it is for Yinka to question herself. It is challenging to exist in a world where everything tells you that the way you show up just as you are is undesirable. When one of Yinka’s breakthroughs comes in a letter she writes to her younger self, I was in tears at 12:10 in the morning. It’s a letter I’ve saved for myself to read in difficult moments as a reminder that I don’t need to wait to finish graduate school or lose weight or find a partner before loving myself. Where I am, just as I am at this moment, is enough.
My Favourite Character
Nana!
Nana’s unwavering support and loyalty to Yinka, combined with her willingness to hold her best friend accountable, makes her my favourite character. Nana is also a woman about building her brand and paying full price at small Black-owned businesses. What’s not to love?
For a brief moment, I wondered whether Nana would end up with Alex, presenting yet another challenge for Yinka to overcome. But I was happy to see that didn’t happen. More Nanas in books and the world, please!
My Least Favourite Character
Auntie Debbie.
To quote the book, “Auntie Debbie does not know when to stop.” As much as I rolled my eyes whenever Auntie Debbie stepped on the scene, it made Yinka and her family so real and relatable. Because, unfortunately, everyone knows an Auntie Debbie.
The One who Stole my Heart
Yinka’s Mom!
All through the book, I struggled to understand Yinka’s mom. It’s one thing to want your children to be happy, but it’s an entirely different matter when your desires for them supersede what they may want for themselves. When Yinka and her mother finally have that talk, it highlighted a generational divide I think both sides need to be more aware of. Our elders see the world one way, and we millennials see it another. This disparity may cause conflict from time to time, but a little honest communication and perhaps a lot more minding of one’s business may go a long way towards some much-needed understanding.
Final Thoughts
My hope for us all is that when love finds us, whether it’s romantic, familial, or friendship, it finds us happy and whole.
Read it!
Up next on my TBR is Arsenic and Adobo by Mia P. Manansala. This one has been on my list for well over a year, so I’m really looking forward to diving in.
Did you read Yinka, where is your huzband? Let me know your thoughts in the comments!
Happy reading!
